Officeland’s Red Carpet

Posted on January 29th, 2008 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland, Coping at Work.

Greetings and salutations from the veal pen here at Officeland II.

Just taking a break from the paperwork and phone calls so that I could sip on some of this noxious brew that is Officeland’s special blend (brain-dead-mocha-vanilla) of the day and look around to see what’s going on here on the second floor.

  • Oh look!  There’s co-worker X sneaking in with her dark glasses on - she looks like someone trying to avoid the paparazzi - instead she’s trying to avoid her boss.
  • And over there, by the Xerox machine is Miss Scattered.  Fellow drone and ultimate bubble-head.  How this broad manages to do anything is beyond me as she is always going in six different directions.
  • Here comes Burnt Out Boss Man for his daily check up of one of his least favorite employees.  Every day he is back here checking up on one certain worker.  He has to walk right past my desk to go-a-snooping.
  • Oh look, Queen Mum has returned to the nest.  Oh joy of joys - our out of touch CEO of Operations is back on her throne after spending several months in another mythical kingdom trying to wedge her ever increasing butt into another throne.  Must have been a bad fit.
  • Ah, look at Five-o-Clock-Shadow-Man.  Not sure what this guy’s name is, he works on the other side, an average looking dude — that is until he forgets to shave for a few days, and for some reason, it works on him.  Eyes back in head.
  • And there goes Officeland’s scandalous couple.  He’s a strange little guy with a sour disposition, she’s a hateful little beast who is married with children; and yet they seem perfect together.

That’s all for today, hope you are all having a Star Studded Tuesday!

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Seen in the Officeland Courtyard

Posted on January 15th, 2008 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

* Every day at around 1:30 you see them. A group of six young men and one woman. They are all Asian except for one, he is Caucasian. They walk together two by two, with the odd man trailing behind seemingly always on his cell phone. It seems that they are coming back from lunch. I suppose they all work together. They all dress similar, dark colors, always dark colors. They work in the building opposite mine.

* Funny thing today, a kid on a skate board in the courtyard, he is doing his thing as I was coming in this morning. Just as I got to the door he wiped out; smashing into the sign that reads:”No Roller Skates No Skateboards!”

* The loud lady who works at Ye Olde Bill Collection Agency on the third floor is really annoying. She broadcasts everything she says. She should be in the theater as her voice carries. I’ve heard her phone number, her address, I’ve even know what car she drives! Good thing I am no stalker.

* Just a bit ago, a light snow was falling. Actually it was floating, like feathers - very pretty and very sparse, until suddenly the wind picked up for a moment and the snow blew heavy and thick for about a minute or two and then it ended. Very cool.

Hope you all are having a very cool day!

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Strawberry Spring

Posted on January 8th, 2008 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

It’s almost 70 degrees today and as the day wears on, Officeland II’s inhabitants are all finding reasons to leave early.  Never have so many had such urgent work-related field visits since the Great Black Friday Noon Time Excursion of 2007.

I went out to the courtyard and read for awhile.  I am currently perusing The Complete Stephen King Universe, an exhaustive examination of the man and his works as well as the interconnectedness of many of his tales.   I am well aware of a lot of this, but some things in this book have been suprising; even to a King fan like me.

Anyway, I just got finished reading the passage about the short story, Strawberry Spring (which is about a serial killer who does his nasty deeds when unseasonably warm weather hits in the wintertime).  Needless to say, I am keeping my eyes peeled for the Officeland Mangler!

Tomorrow I go to Officeland II B to bid adieu to yet another employee sailing off into the sunset.  That should be a great way to break up the week.

And finally, I was privy to yet another bit of incredible unprofessional-ism here when I witnessed a supervisor get into a heated discussion with one his subordinates.  My god, these people have offices with doors - go air your dirty laundry out there!

Hope you all are having a professional day, and if you are in the warm weather area - get out and enjoy the  global warming: just look out for the serial killers.

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Welcome Back My Friends to the Show that Never Ends

Posted on January 3rd, 2008 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

I’m back, safely ensconced in my veal pen. Returned my many phone calls, responded to my many e-mails, reviewed the reams of paperwork.

Same old, same old.

It would seem that a few people were using my cubicle while I was out, as I have found things moved and relocated. Not that I care, but the least they could have done was water my plants (which were bone dry this morning).

Well, I’ve got work to do, hope you all are having a great day!

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Jesus Cake and other Officeland Nonsense

Posted on December 20th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

In the kitchen here at Officeland II the other morning, eyeing the usual leftover baked goods that were spread around, I saw a small rather enticing birthday cake with only one small slice taken from it.  I noticed that the cake said on it, “Happy Birthday Jesus”.  I figured that it was someone’s son or grandson, (as in Hey Zeus).  Later on I discovered that Officeland II’s answer to Annie Wilkes (Opus Dei Lady) brought it in.   ODL is really an interesting person.  She sometimes wears a crucifix around her neck (one of those big wall style types, not a tiny piece of jewelery), she is a very imposing woman, not someone I’d want to mess with.  She should have been a nun.  Nevertheless, I could not help but laugh at the Jesus Cake (as I have dubbed it), and no sooner had I started mocking the cake (”take this and eat, for this is my sugary flesh”) when things in my cubicle began flying about…

Oh, you think I made that up?

Several people saw an old travel mug of mine come falling out of one of my cabinets untouched by human hands as well as my briefcase come tumbling down off the file-drawer.

I said an Act of Contrition and am now hoping for the best.

In other news, today my boss is having a staff meeting, to discuss (among other things) our holiday luncheon.  Oy.  what holiday might that be?  I am going to suggest we hold off till Valentine’s day - you know a little something to get us through the mid-winter blahs.

Tomorrow at 2:30 pm I am out of here until the 3rd of January, 2008!!!  Will I make it till then?

Have a great day all, and if you find any Jesus Cake - don’t mock it!

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The Hawk is Out!

Posted on December 17th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

The cold wind is blowing outside of Officeland II today, sending all of the smokers into tight little groups huddling up next to each other.  Happily, that cute Spanish guy who works up on three needed a light - I was happy to oblige!

Have I mentioned how unprofessional our MIS folk are?  Well they are.  Today I witnessed the little hunchback MIS guy yell at one of the professional staff because he assumed that she had caused a fuse to blow (she had not done that, in fact the culprit was long gone by the time he got on the scene).  Anyway, this little troll would not let up.  Finally the staff person just walked away from him - a wise move, because it seems that some of the most obnoxious people in this place are some of the most well connected.  Kind of like the Mafia - so one does best just remaining silent as opposed to locking horns.

It seems that many here have begun their holiday vacations, as we are running with a minimal staff (I am counting down the days till my vacation, just four more days till go!). I like it this way though, things seem sort of peaceful in a large office that has less than half its normal population.

Well, I’ve got files to put away.

Stay warm, all!

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Officeland II’s Holiday Lunch Day

Posted on December 14th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

Today is the big day in Officeland II:  the holiday luncheon.

People take this stuff very seriously around here.  There are foods and deserts for days in the large conference room, a catering truck just brought in a slew of other foodstuffs and the colors, red and green are holding sway over all .

Day before yesterday I went to Officeland IIB’s holiday luncheon and it was a nice small affair, very similar to the ones we had back in Old Original Officeland (god rest it’s soul).  It was also very nice to see the old faces again.

Up here it is more of an “event”.

I hate “events”.

As I was driving into work this morning, I realized that I had not brought in a contribution to the fete.  Thank god for Dunkin’ Donuts - I got two dozen lard-filled pastries and added them to the desert table.

I will probably end up making  a little plate of food for myself and bringing it back to my desk so I can eat and read the paper in peace.  Does that make me anti social?  Too bad if it does.

Anyway we are coming up my favorite weeks of the work year; the week prior to vacation when everything one does has that feeling that one is “closing up the books for a year” - or something like that.  I can’t wait, after next Friday, I will not be here until January 3rd.  Yee Haw!

But for now, work calls.

Hope you all are having a festive day!!

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One of these Days I am Going to Figure Out how to get the Comments section to Work!

Posted on December 6th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

Does anyone still read this little work blog of mine?

Just asking is all.

Anyway, a heavy conversation in the kitchen here at Officeland about that mall shooting yesterday.  Lot’s of opinions.  Some good, some not so much.

Me?  I am sick of people talking about these shootings when they occur.  What do people expect?  Until the day comes when we …

A: Make firearms illegal.

B: Offer mental health services available to all for little or no cost

…these things will continue to happen.  Adapt to the Wild West, Every Man for Himself American reality - we’ve created it, we must now own. it.

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The Officeland Loo

Posted on December 3rd, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

A few months ago it was revealed that a man and woman from the Bill Collector’s office on 3 came down to our men’s restroom to engage in a little hanky-panky.  They were caught by a cleaning woman.

Shortly after this, the code to get into the men’s room was changed.  It did not take long for the 3rd floor folk to get wind of this, and they continue to use are facilities (though I wonder what is wrong with the loos on floor 3).

I can’t fathom who would want to use a public bathroom for sex … well, unless you are Larry Craig (how about the closet case - he’s got more guys claiming they had sexual run-ins with him) .  I know, some people like that sort of thing, but sheesh - get a motel room!  Anything has got to be better than getting it on in the toilet.

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What Every Cube Drone Really Wants

Posted on November 28th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

With the holiday season hot on our heels, and everyone making up their wish lists - I’ve decided to cook up  a quick list of what I want, and, what I suspect, the rest of my cube drones desire, work wise.

1: A Private Space - Every employee from the CEO to the Janitor deserves a private room where they can close the door and collect their thoughts, where they they can get away from the noise and bullshit.  Is that too much to ask?  My phone calls are just as important and confidential as the supervisor who is talking to his  wife!

2: Working From Home - I can’t see why at least one day a week that this option can’t be offered, especially for those of us who are doing mostly paperwork and computer work.  I’d even be willing to have a separate phone line put in.   When I think of the money spent for my daily commute–the price of gas being what it is these days.  Of course, you’d have to be careful, as some would abuse this privilege, but I think most people would be so happy to have this opportunity, they would not pull any funny stuff.

3:  A Four Day Work Week:  I’d be willing to work a few extra hours a week if I could take Monday or Friday off.  And in the long run, it is a money saving proposition for everyone.

4: Real Flex Time:  Here in Officeland, we have an infamous few who seem to be able to set their hours.  These crafty folk can come in late and allegedly work until eight-o-clock at night, we also have a few others who come in at six or seven in the morning and then leave early in the afternoon.  I have no problem with that; but why is it only allowed to a certain few and not across the board?

5: Some Clerical People Need to Learn Their Place:  Most of the clerical people I work with are good folks.  But we have a handful who seem to think that they are the hall monitors of Officeland.  Frankly, these people tend to involve themselves in work-related and personnel - related issues that they have no business in.  One of our clerical gals even has her own damn office!  What is up with that?

That’s all I can come up with for now, tune in letter when I might have more.  Until then, have a productive day all!!!

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