The Officeland Loo

Posted on December 3rd, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

A few months ago it was revealed that a man and woman from the Bill Collector’s office on 3 came down to our men’s restroom to engage in a little hanky-panky.  They were caught by a cleaning woman.

Shortly after this, the code to get into the men’s room was changed.  It did not take long for the 3rd floor folk to get wind of this, and they continue to use are facilities (though I wonder what is wrong with the loos on floor 3).

I can’t fathom who would want to use a public bathroom for sex … well, unless you are Larry Craig (how about the closet case - he’s got more guys claiming they had sexual run-ins with him) .  I know, some people like that sort of thing, but sheesh - get a motel room!  Anything has got to be better than getting it on in the toilet.

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What Every Cube Drone Really Wants

Posted on November 28th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

With the holiday season hot on our heels, and everyone making up their wish lists - I’ve decided to cook up  a quick list of what I want, and, what I suspect, the rest of my cube drones desire, work wise.

1: A Private Space - Every employee from the CEO to the Janitor deserves a private room where they can close the door and collect their thoughts, where they they can get away from the noise and bullshit.  Is that too much to ask?  My phone calls are just as important and confidential as the supervisor who is talking to his  wife!

2: Working From Home - I can’t see why at least one day a week that this option can’t be offered, especially for those of us who are doing mostly paperwork and computer work.  I’d even be willing to have a separate phone line put in.   When I think of the money spent for my daily commute–the price of gas being what it is these days.  Of course, you’d have to be careful, as some would abuse this privilege, but I think most people would be so happy to have this opportunity, they would not pull any funny stuff.

3:  A Four Day Work Week:  I’d be willing to work a few extra hours a week if I could take Monday or Friday off.  And in the long run, it is a money saving proposition for everyone.

4: Real Flex Time:  Here in Officeland, we have an infamous few who seem to be able to set their hours.  These crafty folk can come in late and allegedly work until eight-o-clock at night, we also have a few others who come in at six or seven in the morning and then leave early in the afternoon.  I have no problem with that; but why is it only allowed to a certain few and not across the board?

5: Some Clerical People Need to Learn Their Place:  Most of the clerical people I work with are good folks.  But we have a handful who seem to think that they are the hall monitors of Officeland.  Frankly, these people tend to involve themselves in work-related and personnel - related issues that they have no business in.  One of our clerical gals even has her own damn office!  What is up with that?

That’s all I can come up with for now, tune in letter when I might have more.  Until then, have a productive day all!!!

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End Of The Year Blowout

Posted on November 27th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland, Coping at Work.

Unlike Friday, when this place looked like Dodge at High Noon, today this joint is jumping!

This week is the start of the end-of-the-year-blowout at Officeland.  The EOTYB is just everyone coming in and trying to get everything done before they go on their extended leaves for the Xmas holidays (myself included).

There are long overdue reports to be sent, money to be spent (you’d never believe how much we have left over at year’s end even though this state has a deficit that is astounding), and holiday luncheon plans to be made.

Oh yes, the Officeland Holiday Luncheons, the stuff of legend, are just around the corner; what a treat to spend some time eating with people that you can only barely stand in the professional sense, at an overpriced restaurant in a damn strip mall somewhere in South Jersey.  I try to avoid these little pieces of hell, but it’s tough as not showing up can be construed as an insult to one’s supervisor (hint: tell ‘em you have a doctor’s appointment that afternoon and can’t make it).

And of course, as if the nickel and dime get-togethers aren’t bad enough, there is also the big office party / luncheon.  Sometimes I wish I worked for an organization that had the kind of office parties where people get drunk and “do it” on top of the Xerox machine - that’ll never happen here as our office parties are non alcoholic affairs.

Anyway, I hope you all are well and having a great day.

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Smoke Break

Posted on November 21st, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

The kids from the 3rd floor were all-a-twitter out in the courtyard this morning, puffing away on their cigarettes and projecting about their work day.  Damn, they are a loud bunch!

These kids all work for Ye Olde Nasty Bill Collection Agency.

I call them kids, because most of them can’t be more than 25 years old, tops.  These kids are the ones who make the calls and try to get deadbeats to pay their bills.  It’s funny because they are such a motley crew.  They love to brag about their conquests; for instance this one kid with a pierced lip (really) was all pumped up because he got some poor fool to pay double monthly payments (which in turn gives the kid a nice monthly commission).

The older people who work for YONBCA seem to be in management.   From what I can tell, they supervise a gaggle of the kids and each unit tries to bring in more cash a month than the other.  The unit that brings in the most money gets some kind of incentive.

Sometimes you hear the kids laughing over the people they dealt with; this morning a young woman was giggling when she told a co-worker, “You should have heard this lady, she was giving me all kinds of grief for calling her at 8:30 in the morning! “

The kids do laugh a lot about the people they are trying get money from.   Funny thing is, most of these kids talk openly about their own mismanaged financial lives and how bill collectors from other agencies often call them.  I heard one of them say, “I told this guy from Visa to go to hell.  I told him I know all the tricks and that there was nothing he could do to me.”

So if you are ever pestered by a bill collector, keep in mind that he’s probably some undereducated twenty something twit with a pierced lip, and he’s probably hiding out from a collector himself.

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Officeland News

Posted on November 13th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

In keeping with Officeland II’s obscene obsession with eating; this week is the “Thanksgiving Feast” to be held on Thursday (a week before the real turkey day), all staff participating are expected to bring in some kind of foodstuffs for others to enjoy.  My god, does the gluttony ever end around these parts?

In other news, we may be loosing the bill collection agency on the third floor.  Their name has been removed from the roster in the lobby and we’ve had several days of work crews clearing out all kinds of crap from up there all last week.  Still, several of the staff are still showing up - so, who knows what is really going on.  Still they are a colorful bunch, these bill collectors.  Most of them are kids who spend their break time in the courtyard shouting into their cell phones and chain smoking.

Meanwhile, the mall across the street is still being refurbished.  Word is that not only will the mall be super-sized, but there is also going to be apartments and condos put there.  I can’t imagine that this, already overstuffed, stretch of suburbia can handle anymore people living here - not to mention the traffic.   They are promising that the mall will be done by Black Friday (a day I have to work, incidentally) - won’t that be nice?  Come to work and sit in shopping traffic.  ugh.

Well, It’s time for my mid-morning smoke break.  Have a good one, all!

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World War Z and Wrong Turns

Posted on November 5th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Uncategorized.

My partner recently bought me the audio book version of “World War Z’.

W.W.Z, for those of you who are not familiar, is an ‘oral history’ of the zombie wars that happened several years back in America.  Of course it is fiction.  I read the book a few years ago and really enjoyed it, but this audio version is outstanding with everyone from Alan Alda to Henry Rollins playing certain characters in it.

The author of the book is one, Max Brooks; son of Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks.

His first book was the tongue in cheek, “Zombie Survival Guide”.  Obviously, the son of Anne and Mel has a thing for flesh-eating-ghouls.  He also has his father’s sense of humor (though it is much more sly and less obvious - probably something his mother passed on to him).

Anyway, the point to all of this is:  I began listening to the audio book while driving here to work this morning and realized something.  If you are really, REALLY, enjoying the audio book that your hearing, and are paying attention to it - you might miss your turn.

And that’s what I did.  Missed one of my turns and had to go a few miles out of my way to get back on track — plus the traffic this morning, damn.

Anyway this zombie made it here today, and it is kind of quiet here at the Officeland Grave Yard - tomorrow is Election Day, state offices closed, so a lot of folks have taken the day off to make a four day weekend.

Oh well, hope you all have a great day, and no ghoul stories have you make a wrong turn.

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Work is Hell

Posted on November 1st, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

Somebody turned up the heat in here today - it must have been pumping all night.  Ugh, it’s like a sauna.  I am dripping sweat onto my keyboard even now.

I am sure this is the work of the Bloodless Ones.

The Bloodless Ones are this little pack of female coworkers who are always cold.  It could be the middle of July and almost 100 degrees and these little twits will be wrapped in blankets because the air conditioners are running.

Oh and this place is lousy with left over Halloween candy.  Everywhere you look there are mountains of the stuff.

Oh well, onward.

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Trick or Treat

Posted on October 31st, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

Halloween in Officeland II.

Unlike Officeland I, this place does not have the same ’spirit’ in that no one dresses up or anything like that.  Though, over at our annex building they are having a little something at noon.

I am leaving here at 2pm today (yippee!!) because I have some errands that need to be run (boo!!).

Anyway, no matter what you might be doing, hope you manage to scare up some fun today.

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My Big Fat Job

Posted on October 29th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland, Coping at Work.

It’s official: I’ve gained weight since I started working here.

The reason?

Every day there seems to be some sort of baked good left out for the taking. This morning was a fresh baked apple pie.

It was good!

Why can’t someone bring in something like pickled asparagus spears? At least then I’d have a chance at resistance.

Well, I better get myself and my expanding waistline down to business. Have a great one, all!

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Bad Planning Causes Fires

Posted on October 25th, 2007 by bluecube.
Categories: Officeland.

Watching the ongoing coverage of the fires in Southern California, I am at once thinking two things:

1 - What a shame, those poor people!

2 - Man, these suburban communities were very poorly planned.

It’s true.  As much as I feel for the folks who are suffering, another part of me understands that poorly executed plans often lead to disastor.  Nature does not care about your multi-million dollar home, so when the fire hits or the mudslide comes your four walls are toast.

It’s like that here at Officeland.  So much bad planning.    Social work is not the place for grandiose postulating, it is a job that demands simple action(s) done in a timely manner.  Something that we all lose sight of.  And that is why, at least once a week, someone is trying to put out another damn fire!

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